September

I will never forget September 2013. This month brought changes to my life that will live with me for forever. In September 2013, my nephew Landon, as described in an earlier post, was born very premature due to prenatal complications. You can also read about his story here. Though my sweet baby nephew was tiny and here only briefly, his life story will "move mountains" as his Aunt Casey once described. He has drawn grown, independent men closer to their Maker. He has brought me to my knees in thanksgiving and praise for my family, something I too often took for granted prior to his birth. He has brought healing in our families - nothing sweeter than seeing siblings band together to comfort one another in a time of crisis and tragedy. Landon has given my brother, Matt, and his wife, Katie an incredible calming peace and has joined them as an unbreakable force - they are truly the strongest people I know. Landon has touched people whom he never met; who myself or my family will never know. And I could continue....

During this time, I could not bring myself to blog about my family. The guilt that filled me (and still does if I allow it) literally could take my breath away. Not a day goes by that I don't think about Landon. He and my son, TJ, were supposed to be buddies. I had dreamt of summers spent making memories in the fields of my family's farm in Arkansas with our boys. This. Is. So. Hard. And I am just his Aunt! I love Matt and Katie and hurt so badly for them....the loss of a child is just not natural. It is just not how things were meant. And yet, God intended for Landon's life to happen just as it did. At Landon's graveside service, our pastor, Brother Tony, reminded us that we live in a sinful world where bad, horrible things will happen. But God's promise to us remains hopeful and good. We probably will never know God's full purpose in Landon's life - but I know it is great purpose, one that only a pure, precious child could deliver. 

1 Corinthians 2:9                  
But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him"

I am also comforted by God's promise that one day in Heaven will all be reunited. Our pain will finally be healed.


Revelation 21:4 - And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

I love you sweet baby boy...truly as if you were my own. You will live forever in our memories. I promise that your life and memory will be honored each day that I choose to be a good Mommy to my children and each time we speak of you as a way to share God's love and provision. Your life WILL move mountains. I am so very thankful that God gave you to us, even if for just a short time. Landon Harold Lewis - your face is now what comes to mind when I hear the words fighter and warrior.